Things you should know if you golf

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there..

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt ... For a 10 on that hole.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; I.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.

One of my personal favorites:
There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are....that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

The End

Old man winter has put a punctuation on the 2008 golf season with four inches of snow. It was a great year but it ended way too soon. Have a great holiday season. I hope Santa brings you all your golf gifts you desire.

November 23rd

I am sitting here at the computer this morning and it is 28 degrees outside with an expected high of 45 degrees. My clubs are still in the car but I don't know why I haven't taken them out. We had another great season of golf and next year begins our 10th year as Kellogg Golfnuts. We added a couple of new players this year, Fred Girardini and Jerry Schraeder. We didn't see much of Matt,Pat or Jeff. Matt Knox spent more time drowning worms than playing golf and Jeff Pohl joined the Pekin syndicate. Hopefully we will add a few new members next year. AOL shut down my website so I have been scrambling around trying to find another site to keep our communication going. I think this will be a good site. It is interactive for blogging and comments. Give it a try. I would love to play one more time this year. More to be revealed. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

November 16th

There are no tee times for November 16th. I am reluctant to call it quits for the year but the 10 day forecast is not looking too good. My clubs are still in the car if we get a nice day.

November 9th

We do have tee times for Sunday November 9th starting at 9:40 am. Weather permitting. Right now it is not looking very promising. cya soon

November 2nd golfnut update

Seven golfers teed off on this beautiful Sunday morning. Dusty Masching shot a 74 with birdies on 2,7 and 18. Mickey had a nice round of 75 with a birdie on 11. Steve McDowell nearly aced #12 for a kick in birdie and then sank a long putt on #17 for another birdie. EZ Bill knocked one close on # 7 and made the birdie putt. Tony birdied #10 and Reno sank a long putt for birdie on 16. We have tee times for next Sunday starting at 9:30 am for any one interested.

Sunday November 2nd

We have two tee times starting at 9:40 am at Kellogg. The Dusty index is a 9. Come on out and enjoy a beautiful day.

The Answer

Windy and cool

No golf today. An evening shower mixed with high winds made playing condition un - burr- able. I have no plans to play next week because of the chilly forecast. Wait til next year!

Golfnut update

Golfnut Update - We have tee times for Sunday October 26th for anyone interested and I plan to make tee times for next Sunday.

Golfnuts Billy, Tony,EZ and Brett King

Crowning the new Champs